Trump, Kim Jong-Un and Putin have secretly recorded an album and will appear at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in August.
This week’s summit in Singapore between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un was widely reported as the first historic meeting between the two leaders. However today it was revealed that both world leaders AND Vladimir Putin have been secretly rehearsing and recording an album and live set for the last year and are scheduled to appear at this years’ Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
There has already been widespread speculation that all three leaders are close friends and hold very similar views especially about rock, funk and pop music – but this latest revelation has taken the musical world by storm.
Donald Trump continues to deny any collusion with Vladimir Putin also claiming a tight bass and drum partnership as rhythm section in Beldon Haigh and the Mother Of All Bands has had no influence on his request that Russia be re-admitted to the G7. He did however concede that it was challenging to find quality time together to practice and neither wanted the band to suffer because of their increasingly busy day jobs. Meanwhile Rocket Man – Kim Jong Un has recently been photographed with a massive new rack of effects pedals and huge powerful new amp in what some claim is a brazen escalation of guitar pyrotechnics. This provocation has raised global concerns of an all-out onstage territorial battle with Trump. Trump, who recently announced he’d also be investing in the worlds biggest ever bass rig and new sunburst Fender Jazz and has stated that any threat from Kim Jong Un would be dealt with swiftly and without mercy.
Insider’s talk of frequent bust ups in rehearsals over the volume of Trump’s bass versus Kim’s guitar or Putin’s uncontrollable paradiddles have raised increasing doubts about band leader Beldon Haigh’s ability hold this volatile supergroup together long enough for the Fringe appearance. Ardent band watchers have also noted the departure of various backing vocalists who were reportedly disturbed by the chaotic atmosphere and constant clashes of ego.
One of the previous backing singers T. May recently revealed the bands extraordinary rider.
Beldon Haigh and the Mother Of All Bands Rider
Eight litres of distilled water
Six McDonalds Happy Meals (must have different toys in each box)
Tame Unicorn – with certificate of authenticity
1 Kg Red M&Ms
1 Kg Blue M&Ms
1 Kg Green M&Ms
1 bottle of Grand Reserva Rioja
1 Bottle of 25 year old MacAllan Malt Whiskey
Eight cans of Tennets Lager
Seven litres of diet Coke
8 canisters of pure oxygen
Catering size box of cheese and onion crisps
Four large Cornish pasties
Large Chocolate cake
At this stage it is unclear whether Kim Jong Un will be bringing his own portable toilet in order to avoid determined sewer divers.
At the moment the Fringe appearance is going ahead and Beldon Haigh and the MOAB have just released a new video and single Airwaves showing the band playing happily together.
Let’s just hope that this fragile period of harmony lasts.
Airwaves is available to download now from all the usual outlets and here is a link to the video.
Beldon Haigh and the Mother Of All Bands appear at the Liquid Rooms Victoria Street Edinburgh on the 11th August 2018. Tickets available at:
https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/beldon-haigh-and-the-mother-of-all-bands-moab
